It’s been a while I’ve written something here. My only excuse for now is simply laziness & maybe refusal to be inspired. For now, I remain lazy, lack that inspiration and leave you in the hands of this awesome personality, Ms Nkechi Woode, my guest and the writer of this post.
The Myth of Perfection
Of all the extremely hard things to be here on earth, certain humans have chosen to be perfectionists, and I can’t still bring myself to fathom why, (and why you chose to be one of them).
There are too many reasons why being a perfectionist is a bad idea, such that detailing them all is just going to be too much hassle for me. I’m just going to shine the lantern on a few.
Having to constantly deal with people coming short of your expectations tops the list, I think. I’m very sure this can be distressing on a scale ranging from zero to “what the hell?!”, depending on the person(s) involved. People will always and forever fall short of your prospects simply because nobody can read your mind to know your view on certain things or to what degree of importance you hold them. No matter how hard you try to get on the road of forgiveness and acceptance that it really wasn’t their fault, you hardly ever go any further than a few steps forward and most likely an equal few back, because constantly, if not every day, something entirely new and similar occurs and before you know it you’re like “uuuurrrrrggggghhhh don’t you ever do anything well enough?!”, either in your head or in one of those explosive moments ruled by the tongue.
Then again, there’s the reason that has to do with relationships with fellow humans. This one can injure massively too. You may not realize it, but somewhere in your sub-conscious you have a dossier of how exactly everyone you relate to should behave to you and when around you. Of course, these people have no clue about the existence of this dossier of yours and probably do not see themselves on the level you have placed them, or even if they do, they know too much about flexibility to be sticking to the kind of rules you hold yourself and even them on their behalf so steadfast to. The result is as usual, constant disappointment. Try as hard as you can, the excuses you make up in your head for them do not make any sense to you, and are as good as non-existent.
Taking a good look at all of these and brooding on it all for quite a while, I’ve come up with the proposition that perfection is nothing more than a myth, an idealized conception surrounding something non-existent, something that we should use as a yardstick but never see as actually attainable, unless we are God, that is.
For the sake of happiness and contentment, you should learn to accept the fact that people only put a lot of effort when they are involved and probably even have something to lose if they don’t.
Learn to accept that you are the only one that knows about the existence of that script in your head that you desperately want everyone to obey to the letter, and even if you hint about it to others, they still wouldn’t care that much, if at all.
Learn to accept that the only way to let people know how you feel when certain things upset you is by saying it out to them, preferably in the nicest way possible, and that feeling like you are on another mental level altogether and as such there is no need for that will only eat up your neural tissues and all the happy amines in your body, literally, I think.
Most or equally importantly, learn to love people alongside their imperfections, especially as it (the fact that they are not perfect) is one thing you will not be able to not notice.
The truth is, you aren’t either, no matter what you think, and hence I’d suggest you try something else really hard instead, you know, like learning to play lawn tennis. That way you only get disappointed in yourself, at first.
Thank you Nkechi, hope you visit some other time. Toodles.